May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
