Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I touched a dick in church today
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
