yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
im on a boat
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