its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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