i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize