I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
