Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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