Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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