thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Let's paint friendship bongs
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
