Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
