My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
