one word: firstdatebathroomanal
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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