I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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