I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize