# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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