we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
