Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
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THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
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I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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