I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
No subtext here. People are naked.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
