i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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