I wish my penis had an off switch
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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