you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
