I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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