You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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