Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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