i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
