then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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