you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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