just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
