plz talk dirty to me
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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