I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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