Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
