My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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