i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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