So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
