can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
