Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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