Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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