Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
