why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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