The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Randomize
