My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Randomize
