We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
