Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize