remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
It's never too late to be topless.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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