i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
