Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
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I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
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I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
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