lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
