Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
