How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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