I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
