Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
