is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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