if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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