I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I need a beard to bite.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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