so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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