it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize