i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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