I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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