Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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