redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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