she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
