I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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