I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I've blown a few things in my day
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
My breasts were aching with rage.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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