I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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